climb down, yo

~or~how to not be a wanker in your online approach

And so, The Global Hook-Up Party: How to have a sexytime-no-strings-attached-two-day-affair through couchsurfing. Or not. It is true that the last two posts were building up to this. Because even in my worst moods, my heartbroken moments, my deep despair, T’s words will pop into my mind, and I laugh. You will, too. That’s the point of all this. His pickup rewrite is simple, yet hilarious and amazing. My point is not to be schooly, as T has suggested. Though I can see how a guy might find it so.

A few weeks ago, I received this couchsurfing request (I cut a bit for length):

spero_crucible_365Hello V. (or should I address you as Venerated Coconut?)

The cool morning breeze across my face as I ride my bike downhill¦ The howling of jackals in the deserts of Eastern Oregon¦ Writing, the sensuous movement of the pen upon paper, letters forming into words, sentences and ideas¦ Playing as a football goalie, diving across the goal to turn the ball away¦ Joining with others in peace and environmental groups, trying to restore some balance and justice¦ The touch of a loved one’s hand¦ These are some of the things that I love and that provide my life with joy and light.

I will be in NYC [for two nights] and would love to meet you, and be hosted if possible….I share your love of writing and art- the last show that moved me deeply with its pain, love, war, suffering, and resistance was by Nancy Spero at the Serpentine in London
www.serpentinegallery.org/2010/09/nancy_spero_serpentine_gallery.html

and would like to hear of your other passions as well as share mine.

I am…a university teacher in the department. Writing and editing essays and books about these subjects is also an important part of my being. [One would think he'd take a moment to edit his correspondence. But evidently not so important.]

If you have the time and inclination, let us meet for coffee, an art show, a hike, a concert, a bike spin, prepare a meal together, or whatever the spirits and our imaginations inspire.

[closing cut]

My CS profile has no recent photo but I would be happy to send one (as an attachment I can only send it to a non CS address.)

Oh dear. No, I’m not interested in a photo of your 49-year-old self. Not at all. In fact, I’m grossed out. T and I have discussed fairly thoroughly the nature of couchsurfing, and this “request” does seem to land on his side of the argument (that of the global hookup party). I shared the request with him:

A (me): I got this from a couchsurfer. It’s so gross. What else is there to say? [see above]

T: Lordy.
It probably works most of the time.
Wankers all.
Say: “climb down, yo.”

A: “I share your love of writing and art- the last show that moved me deeply with its pain, love, war, suffering, and resistance was by Nancy Spero at the Serpentine in London and would like to hear of your other passions as well as share mine.”

is that like a mashup or mistaken cut and paste?

GAG.

T: i think it’s just barmy writing yo. few people are able to write articulately.

I recently saw a show by Nancy Spera at the Serpentine in London.  It covered all the bases – pain, love, war, suffering, resistence.  I was honestly moved.  I would love to meet you and talk about our respective interests.  I am sure we would find that we share a love of writing and art.

Something like that.  It comes easy.  People are morons.  I don’t know why I can’t function in this world when it’s the rest of the world that is moronic.

A: [Gales of laughter.] Agreed.

Most of my friends feel this way. It’s almost shocking how T’s quick edit instantly changes the para from swarmy to thoughtful. It’s really just not that hard. But giving the behavior of (many) guys both online and in person, it seems that it is. Why is that?

3 thoughts on “climb down, yo

  1. I think I know this professor guy. Seriously.

    It is said that I filter heavily. How else to go about it? It is good to have the writing space, to keep it a little active. For me, the main thing is to have a lot of creative autonomy. I’ll use FB to suit my purposes, but it’s a tacky timesuck. I feel most free on my own little pieces of the web, where the domain is mine and I’m responsible not just for the content but for the code.

    In recent years, I’ve only met a handful of friends online. But every so often there is someone still working blog genre– someone whose writing and subject matter resonate with mine. Maybe the internet increases the likelihood of finding our various split-aparts in a lifetime.

  2. Hi Owl,

    It wouldn’t surprise me if you do know him. Yes, I started my site years ago when I decided to leave full-time photog life. Instead of making a traditional portfolio, I decided to make it a travelblogue and do whatever I wanted to do. Free and responsible. Yes.

    Yes, I think the internet makes the world smaller in a good way. Last night I was talking to Anya, whom I mentioned in the last post as having met online. She lives in your town, knows of you, and wants to meet you. She might want some yoga instruction. I’ll send her your info. ;) SUCH a small world!

    xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>