some ladies i met on my walk to mysore this morning

Meh

Here searching for prostitutes, of maybe just free sex, in Mysore? Smile for the camera! You’re in the wrong place.

It was 11 degrees (“feels like -2″) on my walk to Mysore this morning. Twenty-five minutes. At least the sun was out. When I opened my front door to head out, I was greeted with this: The Luxury Rental Girlfriend by Lisa Taddeo. A woman.

I don’t really get the article and why this phenomenon is observed as any different than prostitution which, as far as I understand it, is nothing new. The subtext here is that women (you know, the kind you don’t hire) are needy. They need attention. And commitments. And you know, maybe some respect.

“The Erotic Review, or TER, which is Yelp for the sex trade, where johns trade information about the escorts and offer specific statistics….More than one guy at a time? Full, no-rush session?”

I admit that I’m not sure if that means she’ll have sex with more than one guy at a time, or if she has more than one client over a period of time, but I believe the latter. After all, there’s no mention of more than one woman at a time, right? Now that’s interesting. A man might not want his hooker to see more than one john? What? He’s jealous? He wants a Saturday night date? He wants a commitment? Wow. Needy.

We never get to hear about that, do we? About how fucking needy men are in relationship? Because it’s just such a pleasure for women to nurture, isn’t it. But statistics say, in myriad studies, that married men are happier and healthier than unmarried men of the same age and income. And unmarried women are happier and healthier than their married counterparts. And some whopping % of divorces of couples over 50 are initiated by women, and not because of infidelity. So why isn’t this part of the story?

Hmmm. I almost feel selfish saying that. Seriously. And that’s part of why we don’t hear it, because a woman who says it is clearly selfish. But Jack is painted as a total nice guy just trying to find some peace and a boob to touch, should he feel the urge. My gawd, he’ll even make you any drink you want! (Wow.) Selfish?

But Jack, like, you’re not in the nursery anymore. Everyone has needs. And it’s kind of part of adulthood to respect others’ as much, if not more, than your own. Everyone, not just men, likes to give more when it isn’t expected of them. (There’s a great youtube video by Dan Savage about this sort of thing.) This article is quite the morality tale. It’s really gross. And super glad the tempeh-cooking yoga teacher got a mention. Ugh. And contrary to the story, Jack could not have any woman he wanted. Ewww. I mean quick, count. How many women do you know who wouldn’t go near him for all the money in the world? Exactly.

Oh my way home, in Union Square, I was confronted with this:
huh?

Wait, what is it? A food truck? Well, yes, it’s juice squeezed between two small-but-heavily-tilted ass cracks on a food truck! So appetizing! Breakfast anyone?

I am so confused.

After I got home and looked at the photo, I saw “The Squeeze.” Are you meant to squeeze their asses? and get, ah, juice?

What?

This is me and advertising. Or is this branding? Or is there a difference? I’m just so lost and don’t get it. I usually can’t even make out what’s for sale. What a delight to walk home, minding my own business, and see this massive thing before me, appropriately parked in front of Lululemon. Nothing really says class and respect like headless, ass-only women squeezing you juice out of their tiny asses.

Did you notice the little hatted head inside the window, between the butts? Now that’s a job.

Those aren’t even squeezable asses, for gawd’s sake.

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